Being Nostalgic!!

I am Sorry for being nostalgic once again, but seriously I have no set of words for highlighting relations, future, politics, Bollywood (Salmaan Khan), Cricket (Rohit Sharma) etc. as of now till date, when i got to know that they are going to shut down Orkut on 30^th September 2014.

Haan Mere Baap ka kuch nahi ja raha usme par fir bhi…….

Once upon a time, there was no high speed Internet, the mention of the word apple still highlights up images of a fruit, the forward thinking Xerox ”STD” stores charged one rate for domestic email and another for international email, intellectuals did not have the luxury of appearing erudite by reading Wikipedia just in time for an argument, and research was still done in libraries.

And Yahoo! was Salman Khan, the 100-crore Hero in the room. It was your browser home page, the post box where you got your email (there were so few that you even read the spam) and the search box where you typed in “Jessica Simpson sexy pictures”. Sure, some people used Hotmail too, perhaps under the mistaken impression that the mail you would get there would be of the hot type, but still Yahoo! was the most popular online destination. It was said that the people behind Yahoo! were Shammi Kapoor fans, but since there was no Wikipedia then, we could never confirm if this was true. But we assumed it was.

It was around this time that many started discovering this other Yahoo! feature.

Yahoo! Chat or simply the Yahoo!

I mean, Desibaba was all well and good, but there is only so much that juggled pictures of Karishma Kapoor and stories of the “Pooja Bhabhi” series can do for a 9^th or 10th class boy individual. One then desired the company of a real person of the opposite gender, and so the thirsty generation waited, till the night fell and parents fell asleep, to fire up their dial-up modems, the ‘tu-tu-tu tee tee tee’ hunting tone making them worry with the anticipation of the hunt, as they quietly dive into the world of  Yahoo! Chat rooms.

17′s Love. 20’s Love. Adult themed chat rooms that only one’s friends visited.

Clicking on ids by wiered names like naughtyboymanish, mischeiviousmood, johny2u4uwithu etc. initiating contact (virtual), waiting for replies, and then if anybody made contact, to proceed with the opening move that came to be known as a/s/l (Age/sex/location).

Frequent synonyms of Yahoo Chat, and I can only speak from the male perspective, knew the rules. Rule number 2 was that ‘sweetgirl123, angelgirl1988 and bustylusty4u’ and similarly provocative ids were all boys, who wanted you to click on links. Rule number 3 was that one could use Salmaan Khan’s picture as your own only when chatting in UK and US rooms. And rule number 1 was that any female sounding id who initiated chat contact with a male id was either as a boy or a jealous girl friend under another name trying to validate her boy’s honesty or, this was most common, a man. 

For some reason I could easily relate, a large number of men would chat as women in Yahoo! Perhaps they wanted to experience the sensation of being wanted, a sensation many used to a life of lonely desperation never quite experienced. Perhaps they suffered from the prison syndrome, where you no longer care if it is a man or a woman. Whatever may have been the real reason, the things to remember was that if something was too good to be true, it definitely was, literally and cyberly.

Yahoo! Chat was not just about making connections in the great beyond. It fuelled the economy, building, together with gaming and porn, the cybercafe business in India. Manoj Chattani* gang would come to cybercafes, in groups, and huddle over one Celeron machine (Pentium was not in action at that time), giggling and nudging each other, bags placed strategically on laps. As chat rooms became voice enabled, communities started to build around Chat rooms, with people fighting for the mic, some singing and some shouting random abuse in colorful language for no good reason.

It was organic, it was funny, it was fun, and yes, once in a while, people did find that perfect match.

Reaching 3^rd Semester the charm and desperation for Yahoo! began to die under the onslaught of taking admission in VITS. Before we knew it, Yahoo! Chat had become like Jaitwara station, not maintained, left to rot and with suspicious people hanging about, looking here and there.

The people had to be somewhere of course. So they began flocking to the next big thing, social networking. The age of anonymity and multiple identities had come to an end, to be replaced by a more conventional interaction ethic that more resembled the real world.

Orkut, with its profile pictures and real names, was considered more trustworthy than the wild culture of Yahoo!, despite the profusion of profiles with Sania Mirza pictures. Hence it was Hit!!

A new vocabulary came into existence. Friend Request, Allow, Deny, Blocking, Scrapping, Testimonials etc. (kya kya tha, main bhi bhool gaya) the politics of which would have overwhelmed even Modi.

With picture albums that were open for public viewing initially, one could spend rainy afternoons surfing through real pictures of girls, and then, send them scraps asking for “franship” with the goal being to evolve the “franship” into “labhsip”. Sure the English was bad, and ppl missed vowels and used caps and small letters indiscriminately, and scrapping for no reason, forwarded sms, 100^th scrap congratulations desire to connect across boundaries of space and time, and nowhere was this better expressed than in the scarpbook of pretty girl who would wake up in the morning to find scraps left by total strangers.

But then somewhere down the line, Facebook opened itself to the world, with its better user interface and its locked down albums. People started forgetting Orkut faster than their mates, and Orkut once dutifully maintained and updated, became like a ghost post.

Not that Orkut could not have been saved, Not that Yahoo! Chat could not have been saved. We never wanted to be in same age ever. We never figured out our expectations on discovering.

The golden age of the Net was now officially over. Things no longer existed for the sheer pleasure of being there. Power had passed from the hands of engineers and scientists and intellectual adventurers to the MBA types. Yahoo! Chat was too anonymous to mark presence through targeted advertisements. Orkut was better in that respect but it had not been designed from the beginning keeping in mind a commercial strategy, and the cost of re architecting it was considered too shity.

So Google built the Orkut replacement Google+, the Rohit Sharma of social networks, supposedly very awesome but no one knows what it is good for. Facebook though won as the social network war, monitoring and mining everything you do. What used to be innocent questions like “What are you wearing?” during Yahoo! Chat days are now commerce driven information processing queries, with Facebook knowing not only what you are wearing now but also what you will wear tomorrow.

No doubt today we pine. Today we weep. For Yahoo! Chat and Orkut, but more than that, for those kinder, simpler times, when corporations did not know what we got off to, when people were users, and not market strategy that drive stock valuations.

Yet the two shall remain in our memories, in hours of lost productivity, in seconds of strategic screen minimizations in floating scraps of conversations and in shades of joyful perhaps naughty memories.

Goodbye old friends. Sail gently into the night. The lights will be turned off for good.:-)

Thoughts On Another Birthday!

Maturity, responsibility and a sense of balance beckons.

I, however, refuse to listen.

[What I said at 24 and at 25]

Birthdays are a bitch. No this is not an anger about growing old and about the death of idealism, for that I ask you to refer to my last year’s post where I tried to deal with the monumental milestone of turning 25.

Birthdays are a bitch because no matter how hard I try not to get misty eyed, my mind is flooded with memories of other June 3.

As I grew older from my life, birthdays became more political. No more entertaining Family. Friends are more the focus.

Things however have changed now. Older and wiser, I am supposed to dismiss a birthday wish with a shy “thank you” as if any kind of attention is too embarrassing for an old fogey like me.

I do act “mature” of course. But my heart is not in it. Because honestly, I still crave for all the attention and the fussing.

I still count the number of wishes on timeline and the phone calls I receive even though I know this is “just another day”.

Yes birthdays are a bitch precisely because of this disconnect between what “should be” and “what is”.

It's a birthday post, I dedicate to myself! :)

But before that let me raise my imaginary glass to another glorious, opinionated, politically incorrect, a pleasant year of achieving a ‘Quarter and 1’!

'Dedication'.. #lovefornokia

Much has been said of India’s rise in the last twenty years, and if there is one success story that cannot be denied, it is the mobile revolution in India. Our one true success story.

And while the Congress keeps attributing it to Rajiv Gandhi’s Computer or TV revolution, the true champion was this Finnish company that made phones that Indians could relate to.

Personally, I got into the game very early. I was doing wonderful, in a atlas made cycle attending Physics, chemistry & Maths Tutions that time.

It was 2004, When I finally got my first cell phone. The phone was a Nokia 3310. There were however games like Snake, Bounce on the phone and once I learnt of the magic number (*#06# & *#0000#), there was no stopping me. I looked into my phone every few seconds, typing messages, deleting them and typing them again.

Its 2013 now. Microsoft takeover Nokia. It was difficult to digest, being a lifelong Nokia fan boy.

As Nokia is sold, it is not difficult to understand why the brand was such a rage in India. Like Bata, the other brand that is surprisingly not Indian, it serve the Indian customer’s needs. Sturdy, long lasting, cheap. It could run for days in a country when power was not a daily commodity. It provided communication and safety, and in the worst case scenario, you could throw the phone pointing enemy’s head, and be guaranteed of a bleeding!

And now, once you buy a smartphone, it is a never-ending spiral. There is no peace of mind. Just when you work out the best phone in your budget, there will be this new phone that does everything your phone does, and masturbates you when you’re bored. A never-ending spiral that goes on and on, on and on.

And today, when the world is flooded with phones that can do everything under the sun, and some over the moon, I am reminded of the days…..

When the first thing you saw on your phone were those two hands connecting to each other. And the next hour would be spent in deciding the ringtone. When a little blinking snake was my companion in times of boredom.

When missed calls became the communication code of a generation. When the only thing you needed on your phone to look cool was that sticker at the back, which glowed when there was a call coming.

To the time when I would wait for the sticker to glow, to send a flash message. To set my favourite song, reinterpreted in monophonic tones, as my ringtone. The secret indulgence of setting a separate ringtone for my girlfriend, so that I would know when it was her calling.

To the time when the words ‘incoming’ and ‘outgoing’ made a world of difference. Running to a shop, buying a small card, scratching it eagerly, squinting into it, dialing a number, and smiling.

To the times of college, and first loves.

It has been a long, eventful journey, my friend.

You have been taken over by a company that is not really known for its aesthetics, but reaches out to the most number of people in the world. Much like you did, at one time.

I now wish I could turn the time around and go back to you again. My life at present is not bad at all. But then there is something…

      Something that makes me want to run back in time. But no matter how hard I wish to go back in time, the truth is that I can’t do so.

I don’t really know if I am going to use you again. But when I look at the ‘Low Battery’ message on my phone, I think of you longingly.

You were a good friend.

          

On Becoming 'Twenty Five'!!

Gifts and girls, what else one wants in life? Sadly, no more girls for me but I am sure gifts still make me happy. They’ll sure make me saying ‘Keep Walking’.

If true words are not spoken, I guess this is what getting old means. You start talking to yourself, comparing your life with the debit & credit statement coloumn marked in any bank passbook.

I am going to be 25 though (As she said, make your 25th Remembrable), but I already feel like that comparing these days to those days!

Yes birthdays are a bitch precisely because of this disconnect between what “should be” and “what is” between 4u.johny & Birthday Boy_@_25.

Genre: Fiction :-)

4u.johny: First of all sir congratulations on becoming ‘Twenty Five’. Yeah you are 25* now, Some may say that congratulating you for this is like congratulating Twelve o’clock for coming after Eleven o’clock, or congratulating an Apple broken from its stem for dropping to the ground or congratulating ‘Mr. Nandlal’s’ son for taking over ‘Nandlal and Sons’.

On becoming ‘Twent Five’, Your Friends, Colleagues, Relatives would definitely congratulate you on this occasion. But, here I am on your 25th to quote you not ‘being human’ but “being negative, asking Sir, what is your weakness?” No Sir, I am asking “What is your strength?” As a matter of fact, I am desperately looking for it, on your so called 25th.

Also, I read your Post, the Post that you delivered on the blog exactly a year ago…err…It was resembling more lika a chintan shivir of any national party.

And so I ask, what did you do even after attaining an age of ‘Twenty Five’? I could not find you anywhere infront of your mother, because on occasion of Posting ‘On becoming a Husband’, you are still stucked at Posting ‘On Becoming 25’. Nowhere did I find you expressing your opinion infront of your family being an elder son. Never did I see you taking responsibility both in home and business, the hallmark, what people say of an elder son. This may be just something I missed the very heart of problem, No ‘Honda City’ till now?

Your situation sir Reminds me of a great 90s song here, “Kya cheez ho tum khud tumhe maloom nahi hai”

Sir…..??

Sir….??

He sighed and leaned back on his chair....

Birthday Boy_@_25: If you had met me Five or Ten years ago, I wouldn’t blame you for predicting that I would be now ‘only 25’, not  very well off. But here I am, sitting in front of this space that I own.

I don’t have much wisdom in me, in spite of my age. But one thing I did learn. That there is something wrong about the way we are brought up. I don’t mean my generation in particular. I mean human beings in general.

We are pushed too far, too fast, So much that a person hasn’t yet lived out a quarter of his life, and he already has an idea about ‘Success, failure, necessity, marriage, children and other odds.

Why don’t we take it slow?

It will take you some time to learn about yourself, see who you truly are. The problem is that even before you know much about yourself, you are trapped. You have chosen what you want to do, and your father has selected what you have to do, and you are stuck.

Sometime in my early 20s, I came to the realization that most of my most critical life decisions had never truly been taken after considered deliberation, at least nothing remotely resembling the ‘should I this or should I that’ decision paralysis. I studied engineering, not because I particularly wanted to or felt it was a good fit for my career, but because that’s what ‘all the good boys do’. When it came time to do a Job or Masters, I again went with the flow. All my smart friends had taken the same decision and well, all of them couldn’t be wrong. I never gave a second’s thought.

Now, on approaching 25th the pressure to listen to my parents had slowly been increasing for me, situation like 10 dot balls in a T20 match. What started out as odd conversations with my mother like “So-and-so got married, they were also of your age”. But then I have come to realize through bitter experience, that it is better to duck some bouncers than to try to hook them.

I did not regret some of the decisions taken without thought, And so I am determined not to repeat this mistake of mindlessly checking off a box in a checklist when the next big space in the road comes.

It’s age after all. I am not twenty four any more you know.

4u.johny: Are you sir not being too simplistic? Which is when I realized that this simplicity is actually your complexity.

If I have said more than I am supposed to say, kindly forgive me. Blame it on my age. Or my lack of it. Whatever works.

So congratulations again, dear sir!! Congratulations for just being you.

Birthday Boy_@_25: I know this is ‘Just another day’. And most important thing about this another day is the realization of how little everything really matters.

Things however have changed now. Now, I am supposed to dismiss a birthday wish with a shy “thank you” as if any kind of attention sounds embarrassing for a twenty five year old bakchod boy like me.

Birthday Boy_@_25 wears a hat and blows a whistle for a kind attention and dedication of words from Mr. Rahul Kunal, Anuj Mehrotra & Alok Gupta.

But Alok Sir, you cannot compare Sir RJ with Sir JC.

Thoughts on "Ek Tha Tiger"

The moment that Tadatada tune started playing, A man in an perfectly ‘Reid & Tailor’ brand tailored black suit turns on his feet and points his gun towards the dissolving blackness.

“The name’s Bond, James Bond.”

Enough with the nautanki. I am Sure Tiger will definitely made him want to forget everything.

Once again, Being Human This Time, I will Seriously Make a Request To Mr. Bond that :

Here is Some Conversation held between us..

4u.johny : “There is this movie you need to see. Ek Tha Tiger. Or in English, Once upon a time there was a tiger.”

Mr. Bond : ‘What? You sent me a distress signal on the ultra-secret spy covert channel just so that I catch a nature conservation film. You Know I am on a Mission Since ages, And you call me here, for this?”

Mr. Bond feels like an idiot. Because he had fallen for the same trick last month, as Bruce Wayne (Batman) in ‘The dark Knight Rises’ almost challenged his TRP..

4u.johny : “I have something you should see. It’s about some extra tricks or lesson you should learn for your next target.

Making a quick get-away, he arrived at the drop-off spot to find me with a video. And what had that turned out to be? A Hindi movie called “Highlighting Caption’ “This Eid”….!!

Mr. Bond was about to leave but there was something about me, a kind of icy stillness, that bounded him to stay.

“No Mr. Bond. This is not a movie about animal conservation. As a matter of fact, the hero here cares as much for wild animals as you care for Blofeld S.P.E.C.T.R.E  RING 18 K.”

Mr. Bond : “And who is this hero we are talking about?”

4u.johny : “Bhai is the name by which his devotees call him. He hates black bucks more than Baba Ramdev. And when it comes to people on the road side (footpath in our language), he lives and let die.”

Mr. Bond : “And why, 4u.johny, should I care about this Bhai, this Ek Tha Tiger?”

4u.johny : “Because Mr. Bond, this Bhai plays Tiger, a secret agent, of such great power that he can finish us off, For good. The crisis this time isn’t about stolen submarines. It is about our existence.

Mr. Bond sits into the leather couch and turns towards the monitor. The video seems to be paused.

Mr. Bond : “Well I can see you have already begun without me. What’s happened so far? And is that man on screen…’

4u.johny : “Yes. That’s Bhai. Salman. Tiger. RAW agent. More alpha than Uranium 92-238. What Ra.One needs a superhero suit for, he can do shirtless. Stops a speeding Metro. Play around with high tension wires without any tension.”

Mr. Bond is unimpressed. After all, he is the man who got On top from the bottom. The world is not enough.

I realized that 007 is having trouble getting his mind around the awesomeness of Tiger. Not yet a Bhai-head, he smiles to himself. He will see the light, Soon.

I Illustrated Further, “Okay let’s say the Professor Kidwai have stolen plans for a secret missile to be used against the British. Time is of great importance. You have been asked to keep a nuclear scientist under surveillance, a nuclear scientist who is needed to arm the bomb. What would you do?”

Mr. Bond : Why are you asking me these things 4u.johny? I am being Serving this name since ages. You know as well as anyone what committments are.”

“Guess what Tiger does ?Given a mission to keep an eye on a scientist, who looks suspiciously like that history-traveller from “Bharat Ek Khoj”, he climbs pipes, sleeps on the bench, goes out on dates, dances with backup dancers. In short everything except keeping the principal under watch. Why does he do this? So that he can fall in love with the scientist’s beautiful secretary.”

Mr. Bond : “Well 4u.johny, I still don’t see what’s so strange about that. For decades, I have fired my heat-seeking missiles into the enemy’s soft spots, all in the service of nation. This is but yet another weapon. A pleasurable one, I do accept.”

“But you see Mr. bond. That’s where things are different. Here, with the fate of the country on the line, Tiger does not go in for the quick approach being taught in spy school. No, he takes the girl to a park, watches swans and stars showers and then asks her dead father, up there among the stars, for her hand.”

Mr. Bond gives the dirty look. “Oh my Goodness that is just so pathetic.”

I continued, “So obviously the girl Tiger falls for is an ISI agent.”

Mr. Bond knows where this is going “He shoots her. Don’t tell me he shoots her before they mingle their passion. That would be, to use a Shakespearean term, absolute KLPD. ”

I then Replied “No he does not shoot her. With his gun shaking, Tiger asks the pretty ISI agent, Was that what I saw in your eyes love?”

With a shake of his head, Bond reaches for his martini “Maybe the same reason why the Indians keep Kasab alive for so long. For the love they see in his eyes.”

“You know what Tiger drinks?” I ask.

“Considering what a kadoo he appears to be, let me guess. Imperial Blue or Goa?

“No. Milk…” That too from a doodh-wala. I replied!

Mr. Bond seems shaken as well as stirred.

Mr. Bond asks “But what is Bhai’s problem? The Indian and the Pakistani could just have gotten married and settled down in Dubai. Like Shoaib Malik and Ms Thunderball..”

“Evidently not. Which is why they escape to Cuba and lie low by dancing about on the streets and fighting in front of security cameras.”

“You seem to have finished the entire movie already Mr. Johnny. Why you called me then?”

“Oh this is my second-time. The reason I called you was that this is a direct challenge to you, Mr. Bond.

 “Me? The James Bond.

A RAW spy, Tiger? The Bhai?

Well I am Bond, James Bond. I have been played by Connery, Niven, Moore, Lazenby, Dalton, Brosnan, Craig…it’s my character that is important not the actor who plays it.”

“Aha. That is it. Bhai stands for exactly the opposite. As he has proven time and time again, it is the actor that is supreme and not the character. Bhai can play the front right tyre of an Mc Laren F1 if he wants to and it will still rake in 100 crores in 3 days. Story, logic, script, everything is redundant. You can get your privates almost burnt by a laser ray. No one cares that much. But as soon as Bhai stand in front of the camera, strikes a stud pose, the Money and the Honey will all pour in. Only For him.”

Mr. Bond : “So what should I do to this Bhai? Do you expect me to fight?”

“No Mr. Bond, I expect you to die. In shame, there is no quantum of solace.”

                                                                                                            

                                                                                                                           Being a Human!! :-)

The Birthday Post!!

Late night, A glass of mango shake (seriously) by my side. Surfing the net when all of a sudden my gtalk window pops up. There’s a message:


From 4u.johny_at_19: Hi. I know this sounds kind of weird. I am you, when you were 19. I just wanted to see if you are online….had some questions to ask you.
Yeah right. This has got to be a practical joke. A few of my friends—the very few I have know its my 24th birthday on the 3rd of June and this must be their idea of a joke. Very funny.


I type back. 
Yes 4u.johny_at_19, this is 4u.johny_at_24. Nice joke. Now which clown is this?


From 4u.johny_at_19: As I said, 4u.johny_at_24 this is going to sound weird. I am actually “you” 5 years ago. I don’t know how this is happening but somehow we are being able to communicate through chat and I want to ask you basically—-how did I turn out?


Some people take the gag so far that it becomes unfunny. 

4u.johny_at_24: Okay smart guy, I may be a bit drunk but not that sloshed. Buzz off.


4u.johny_at_19: Wait wait. I have proof. I am sending you a picture no-one else is going to have this picture, at least none of your friends. It feels strange saying “yours” because these friends are mine too. Or will be. See this picture. Recognize the guy?
Holy Moly.. That’s me at 19. A drastic change now. How the hell did this guy..?


4u.johny_at_24: Okay I don’t know how you did this. Or what in the name of ‘Hindi Picture’ is happening. But it seems you are me at 1half decade ago. How creepy meeting you again, like this, just when I am going to turn 24. So what do you want to know?


4u.johny_at_19: First up, am I a MBA from Harvard or LSB making 7 figures a year, driving a Honda City and jetting around the world first-class?


4u.johny_at_24: No you are not. Listen to yourself. What expectations hmm (bhen****)!


4u.johny_at_19: Sooo….what am I then? You mean I am not an MBA? Dont joke man. I gotta be an MBA from somewhere.


4u.johny_at_24: No you aren’t an MBA. The only thing your car will have in common with a Honda City is that both of them will have innovative doors, the Honda City is beautiful Sedan, your passenger like car is still that common Hatchback. It’s a Hyundai make model, for your information.


4u.johny_at_19: Cool at least a new car. Ooh wait I forgot. You are in 2012 right?


4u.johny_at_24: Yes I am. Very clever of you to realize.


4u.johny_at_19: So if I am not an MBA what am I ?


4u.johny_at_24: I am sorry to have to break this bit of news to you dude. But you are a common all type business man still sitting at the world’s boring place ‘The Pannilal Chowk’ and now Bharhut Nagar.


4u.johny_at_19: Haha now you are pulling my leg. You know me better than anyone else and you know I have always wanted to be like Some Ambanis, TATAs or Heeranandanis upstairs with the company car, the YMCA Club membership and the masseur who comes in on Sundays.


4u.johny_at_24: Immature. Of course I forget you are only 19. You see at the age of 24 in the final analysis, way too much like my father. I value my freedom and I am willing to make a financial compromise for it. It was tough coming to terms with this realization but it is true.


And this day didn’t come all of a sudden it was a lesson acquired by walking the path between 2007 and 2012. So straight off the bat, this may be a bit too much for you to understand right now but trust me on this one. May be we did not set out to be a MBA but it’s a rather good place to be. Considering the type of person we are and what we value in life.


4u.johny_at_19: Please don’t mind but you are kind of sounding like Dad (Jo hota hain acche ke liye hota hain). Change of topic: have I traveled the world? Have I been to all the places I wanted to go?

4u.johny_at_24: Well Sorry Dude… No Hard feelings.. No where. 


4u.johny_at_19: Ooh bad. Sounds weired, feels kinda uncomfortable asking someone who is so older than I am….but since you are me after all….do I turn out to be the super-rocking stud I always wanted to be? You know chick-magnet, party animal, like Brazilians without a care in the world. Do you remember how constricted you used to feel at 19 in an all-guys engineering college, growing up in a middle-class sindhi family, wanting to break free. Do you remember, 4u.johny_at_24 ?


4u.johny_at_24: Yes 4u.johny_at_19 I remember. Only too well. I am sorry to have to break it to you—but things didn’t quite turn out that way. Again what you cannot accept right now is that you have your limitations. As a matter of fact, turning 24 is not the stage where you can truly realize the magnitude of all the things you cannot do. We still have couple of years left to live the life well. Its a sobering thought and one which, even though it comes at the cost of heartbreak and much sadness, makes your life that much easier.


4u.johny_at_19: Excuse me but could you repeat that in plain English?


4u.johny_at_24: You have’nt cut a dashing figure in a club, you did not have the cash nor the style. Your time still spent better staying at home, reading a book, doing creative writing…..”


4u.johny_at_19: In other words, no Ecstasy-induced sandwich dance, no bumping and grinding.


4u.johny_at_24: There will be grinding work and a few bumps along the way. And oh a fact: Do you know none of the stars were born same day same year as us? Somebody born that day sure achieved a lot.


4u.johny_at_19: So I let myself go and become fat. Not good. Will I get married? And hows she?


4u.johny_at_24: Yes you shall. To a lovely person who is exactly right for the type of person you will grow up to be. She’s fine, doing good with her crazy smile and you also know dude ‘three things defines her best.’


4u.johny_at_19: Oh ! That’s good…..So summing up, how do you feel now?


4u.johny_at_24: A bit sad. The sadness from knocks sustained, trusts broken and overall lfe cycle. The sadness from knowing the things you can and cannot do. At 19, the world lay before me, I could be anything I wanted to be. I am not so sure anymore.


A bit afraid, More responsibilities, More thinking of others and less about myself. More aware of my own mortality and those others whom I love.
And finally more than a bit glad. Things could really have been much worse.


4u.johny_at_19: Boy you do sound old. I cannot believe I shall grow up to be you. In any case, thanks for all the crap old-timer. I have to go and sleep it’s already 4.00 A.M.

4u.johny_at_24: Wait dude.. Kya karega soke, abhi 4.00 hi to baje hain.


4u.johny_at_19: Get lost….ewwwwww…….Good Night!!


I sit head in hand. Did I dream that all up? Was it the alcohol? Nah!!
Feeling emotional and light-headed, I think of the innocence, hopes and the aspirations of the person I talked to right now. So familiar and yet so strange, so present and yet so lost. Caught in the twilight haze of rational thought and hopeless dreams (Sorry for stealing the lines from 26^th april conversation), my hand moves to the keyboard :


To 4u.johny_at_30: Hi. I know this sounds kind of weird. I am you , when you were 24. I just wanted to see if you are online….had some questions to ask you.

BTW… Happy B’day!!

Right Now!!

Right Now, I am looking for a girl, who is indolent and emotional and most importantly young because..

This is what my horoscope says for this week:

"An indolent and emotional young woman in a controlling position at work may over react and create difficulties for you"