"Mythbusters"

After lots of meet ups with my non-IT friends, relatives, strangers, Pan vallahs rickshaw wallahs, etc etc. I noticed that the moment you say that you are an Engineer, they have already made some assumptions about you.

"Beta tum computer engineer ho?"
ME: "Haan"
Aunty: "Beta hamaara computer bighad gaya hai... mera beta usa mein hain...tum computer theek kar sakte ho?"
ME:(thinking) "Kar sakte ho!! apun ko challenge!!"
ME:(Speaking) "Haan main dekhoonga"
Aunty: "Internet connect nahi hota hai"
ME: "accha? do minute mein kar deta hu" (This attitude always gets me into shit)
After an hour i finally figured out that there was no problem with the computer but the internet connection had to be renewed. Problem solved. The hero comes home. Thinks.Why only me?

After years of experience in the computer field (okay two years of ex is valid enough to be described as "years") I figured out some ways to impress unknown (and unsuspecting) people. I will nicely sort out my stuff into categories of vulnerability.

Myth #1 You can fix any computer..and calculator and clocks too
Most of the Electronis or computer engineers around must have at least once gone to a friends place only to fix his /her comp. The task can be from installing a software (next..next.. finish) to fixing a computer which gives electric shocks when its metal areas are touched.
Once I tried to play the problem down by saying "are woh toh simple sa kaam hai". My friend trapped me by saying "badhiyaa! toh kab aa raha hai ?"

Myth #2: If you have not gone for Job and you are into ur Business, You have lots of money
Once I met up with my friends from college who are working at different places in different fields. I just mentioned that it is such a pain to go to Shop nowadays and discussed that I wanted to change my car.
Friend1: "what problem do u have man.. u are a businessman now"
Friend2: "Tu toh Honda City le saktaa hai"
Me: "City!! abey City kya mere pass DVD lene ka paisa nahi hai, baap se bolunga to laat marke bhaga dega”
Even after 5 minutes of convincing them that i did not have the required 'aukaat' they weren't getting convinced.

Myth #3: Sitting at Shop means, Just ordering the servants to do work and aish.
Yeah many of my friends debate me on the topic of service class vs business man.

Friend1: “Bhai tera to mast base hain, business hain hi” Waise bhi tu naukri krke krta kya?

Freind2: “Apna to guru chaape pade hain, sala hum logo ko dekho ye company waalon ne maarke rakhi hain”

Then I somehow thinks that is it easy to deal with the customers and market? As my IT Folks and non business background friends claim? They somehow thinks that business is like ki shutter uthaya aur bas paisa kama liye.
Well I don’t… completely disagree :P


Myth #4: You are a loser anyway
Wont describe it anyway… People with good or bad job always complain about their work or schedule and regret about their life.. Same is the case with Business persons. They complain about their role and ups and downs in their field..

Now I realized that I have almost never tried to prove any myth false. The name of the post should be renamed to Mythboosters instead :D

Osama's Encounter mAde mY dAy!!

I don't understand why I try to come up with spoof like titles and screw them up. Day before yesterday only while leaving a good friend of mine to station, standing on platform no.1 bookshop, I read an article on ‘Her experience in a beauty parlour on Mothers day’. Though I haven’t read that, I decided to observe more when I go to my parlour for a haircut. Well I did not get any discount or anything, because we men are blessed with 364 men’s day…

OK OK. I don't go to any parlor sharlor. I usually cut my hair in a sidey men’s saloon. Atleast you find it better than being getting hair cut under some tree. Hmm fine let me admit that it has nothing to do with the cuts but I am cheap by default and I don’t find it worth spending 100 or 150 bucks for a haircut in a designer saloon which I think is too much.

It was Sunday. After a tiring Saturday at shop the only hope for enjoying sleep lasts to Sunday. I planned to wake up early and get my hair cutt in morning itself, but was late.. I entered the saloon. The walls were painted in a gaudy blue color. One of the tubelight was flickering and the radio was blaring with hindi songs.

"Thoda rukna padegaa sahab,20-30 minutes", Said the man.

I turned into my smarty pants avtaar and threatened him "Theek hai main jaa raha hu" and started leaving the shop.. super slowly and thinking "abey rok na mujhe". My smarty plan worked and he gave in by promising to attend me within 5 minutes.

Well for 20-30 minutes I waited for my turn (damn my smarty avtaar J.

There were couple of newspapers and old magazines thrown in. Also there were lots of Filmfare and stardust mags around. Osama was shot dead recently, and the news channels were houseful with that crap news again n again.. I wonder why do there people were debating for Osama’s Jehad and America’s dadagiri. The barber also participated in that debate time by time holding his customers on houseful Sunday.

I am shocked that we have so many snuff fans around.. So after enough of leching at lots of 'heroines' (actress is not a cool term to use here), I ran out of patience and screamed at him "boss aapne 5 minute bola tha!"

(Yeah you have to call him boss, dada and what not to make him happy).

He smiled at me and said "Bas abhi aap hi ka turn hai" (translation: "kaise ullu banaaya").

So I went and sat on the chair which looked not less than a Throne. The barber assigned to me came. His hairstyle was resembling Someone like Anil Kapoor of 1995. When I looked around I was surprised to see posters of Sanjay Dutt, Anil Kapoor Stuck up.

He saw me looking at them and said "Wahi toh hai asli hairstyle.. Gaya woh zamaana" He added, "Aaj kal ke bacche kuch bhi karte hain ispikes, istraightening dhatt". That time I realized that I Entered a wrong place.

"Mujhe Saadha cut chahiye" Yes, Saadha cut is a type of cut which does not fit in the categories of ispikes, istraightening, Anil Kapoor, Sanjay Dutt etc..etc. He then covered me in a filthy cloth which was supposed to protect me from my own hair (while i could see duniya bhar ka hair on it). His Scissor moved swiftly and within some minutes he was done. Then he loaded his Ustara (Razor) with a brand new Blade (or so I thought). While shaving I moved a bit and he grunted "HMMM!!"

I was reminded of the scene in Andaaz Apna Apna "Babulal Kaan Sambhaal Ke Kaato".

There was a small kid beside me who was scared to death and was wailing. My barber was getting irritated (and I was getting scared of the barber). Finally he got pissed enough and ... and he increased the volume of the Tape!

After he was done with me, he opened a drawer filled with cosmetics. I was busy making faces at that kid. Puff puff ..he dusted some talc on my face.. and mind it koi aisa waisa talc nahi "Sona Talcum Powder". I was looking like a clown. "Yeh kyaa kiya!" I screamed.

Phuss Phuss came in a spray of water and I was started and washed clean instantly. Before he could get a chance to use his "Vikko turmeric cream" and "Denim after shave lotion" I got up to leave. "Abhi tak huaa nahi hai sahab maalish baaki hai". Then for few minutes he massaged my head. 

I swear that was a soothing experience especially after a long day. Then I got up, paid him 30 bucks and left his shop. Though it was cheap like... Well there is no comparison i can think of.. :P

All for 30 bucks it was worth it :)